The action or practice of criticizing someone in a treacherous manner while feigning friendship is known as backstabbing. While the word ‘back stabber or backstabbing’ is not in scripture, it was a common practice in Biblical times and remains so today. Let’s look at six examples of back-stabbing in the Bible:
Judas betrayal of Jesus. Matthew 27:3-5 says: 3 Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, 4 Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that. 5 And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself. To Christ’s face, Judas was his friend, but behind the Lord’s back, he conspired with the chief priests and elders and ultimately sold Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver. Later, he felt remorse, but not repentance. Judas didn’t seek forgiveness from the one he offended, but remained a VICTIM of his self-righteousness to his death.
Eve’s betrayal of Adam. The first man and wife, Eve believed the serpent and then convinced her husband to disobey. That disobedience resulted in the fall of mankind. In Genesis 3: 17-19, God pronounces judgment on Adam and Eve and their offspring: 17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; 18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; 19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
Cain’s betrayal of Abel. Cain, the firstborn, was a farmer, and his brother Abel was a shepherd. The brothers made sacrifices to God, each of his own produce, but God favored Abel’s sacrifice instead of Cain’s. Cain then murdered Abel, and God punished Cain by condemning him to a life of wandering. God warned Cain that sin would be “at his door” or that sin had a desire for him. This is a reminder to us that sin in our lives is always trying to persuade us to do bad things that dishonor God. Read Genesis 4 for the full account of Cain’s betrayal.
Jacob’s betrayal of Esau. Genesis 25:27-34 gives the account of Jacob getting Esau to sell his birthright. There is no indication that Esau was forced to sell it to Jacob. Jacob simply took advantage of the situation. In Genesis 27, Jacob fools his blind father Issac into giving him Esau’s blessing. In verse 36, Esau says, And he said, Is not he rightly named Jacob? for he hath supplanted me these two times: he took away my birthright; and, behold, now he hath taken away my blessing. Jacob’s name means supplanter, proxy, or understudy. While it was in God’s sovereign plan to use Jacob to become the father of the great nation of Israel, it was still sin for Jacob to supplant to get the blessing. God used deceitful Jacob, not because of his deceit, but in spite of it.
Joseph’s brothers betrayal of Joseph. Joseph’s ten older brothers were jealous that their father favored Joseph and sold him into slavery when he was seventeen. He served his slave master Potiphar faithfully, but Potiphar jailed him after hearing a false accusation. An inmate he’d aided forgot his promise to help clear his name, leaving Joseph imprisoned until he was thirty. Joseph triumphed over these betrayals. He went from prisoner to prince. How did he do it? In five ways: (1) Joseph stayed faithful to God, (2) Joseph served faithfully wherever he was, (3) Joseph embraced God’s blessings in the midst of suffering, (4) Joseph restored relationship with repentant betraying brothers, (5) Joseph recognized that God used the betrayals for his(and his brothers ) ultimate good.
Delilah’s betrayal of Samson. Delilah was a Philistine who entrapped Samson into revealing the secret of his strength was his long hair. She then betrayed him to his enemies. Judges 16:5 says, And the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and said unto her, Entice him, and see wherein his great strength lieth, and by what means we may prevail against him, that we may bind him to afflict him; and we will give thee every one of us eleven hundred pieces of silver. R C Sproul says this about the Samson/Delilah story: Samson drifted into sin one inch at a time, but finally there was a point when God withdrew his favor and denied him access to the gift of strength. Pride, presumption, and neglecting your spiritual gifts may result in the same end. What task has God set before you at this point in life? Are you aware of your privilege and, as Paul encouraged Timothy (2 Timothy 1:6), are you stirring up your gift into a righteous flame?
So how should you deal with backstabbers, sowers of discord, double dealers, and betrayers? First, stay calm and don’t retaliate. In many cases, that is exactly what the quisling wants you to do- react to their deceit. Don’t accommodate them. Remember, just because they are spreading tales about you or trying to hurt you, it doesn’t mean they are right. Second, never underestimate the power and persistence of a backstabber. People who sow discord and ‘stir the pot’ most often love doing it and underestimating their eagerness to hurt you is a mistake. Third, confront the backstabber using Matthew 18 if you feel the motive was not deceit. Be careful here. Often people confront backstabbers believing the deceiver will look at a situation the way they do, but the truth is the backstabber sees this as a sign of weakness and will seize the opportunity to take their backstabbing to the next level. Deceitful people are to be avoided, not confronted. Fourth, drop them out of your life and let it go. You don’t need to have a relationship with people who will pull you down spiritually and emotionally. Just accept the fact that there are people who are not meant to be your friends. I Cor. 15:33 says Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Fifth, learn from the experience. By going through an experience with a backstabber, you will learn to be more discerning and observant. Backstabbers want to gain something for themselves and gain power over you. Often people who smile at you will behind your back attack you. Here are two universal characteristics of a chronic backstabber: (1) They love to stir up conflict and enjoy seeing people going at each other’s throats. (2) They always deny their role in spreading lies and are skillful at making their victims feel like the guilty party. Sixth, pray for the backstabber. More than reconciliation to you, they need reconciliation to God. A person who is a chronic backstabber is most likely lost. They need the saving grace of God. Until God regenerates their dead double dealing heart, they will not come to HIm. Pray that God moves on their heart and saves their soul.
Ernest Lee Contendin 